Do I have a reputation? Hmm, I sort of do in the professional(ish) sense. I’m known as a pretty decent writing tutor, and as a hardworking employee at work.
But this isn’t the kind of reputation I want to have. I want to be known as a “real” girl.
(Smother the Pinocchio jokes before they leave your mouths.)
What I mean by this is that I dislike fake people, people who pretend to be something else in front of you for various reasons. (Of course I’m not saying that it’s bad to pretend to be something you are not, if it helps your self esteem and doesn’t hurt anyone in the process, then by all means, go ahead.) What I am writing about are the kind of people that present a certain image because they want to make themselves feel better than others, or because they want to be liked by others so they morph themselves into whole new people. But why do I find this wrong? To me, friendship (and any kind of positive relationship) is based on honesty. Also, if a person presents a brave front to everyone and then, when the shit hits the fan, freezes up, we’ve got a problem.
So, to keep this short, the kind of reputation I want to have is of being a real person. I also know that I am not perfect myself, and that I also put up a front around strangers. (And have a work persona that has been cultivated for years.) However, to the people that matter (all of you included), I have gradually started disclosing the real dour, sarcastic, darkly humored Mary. I understand too that some people might not like this, and that’s okay, because at least I am still being real.