After spending a good chunk of the evening reading through all of your 3rd Day posts, I have finally built up enough encouragement to write this down. So, you want me to write the blog post that I had in mind when I first started this blog two years ago? (July 1, 2012 to be exact.) Well, then I must kindly decline. And don’t get me wrong, this isn’t because I can no longer remember what I had in mind then (though this might be true), it’s because I had nothing in mind apparently. I’ve read through my first couple posts and feel absolutely no drive behind them. I am vague, and almost superficial in my words, as if I’m skidding on the surface of what I could have written. As if I left possibility in the dark to wither without sunlight. (I’ll end the similes there.) But yes, I failed in the beginning. (My inner critic is having a field day with this analysis.) But again, don’t think that I am ashamed of this. I’m not. This failure is in the past and out of my hands, so I refuse to worry about it.
Now, if I had the chance to start all over, here is what I might have written then:
I live in a place where the sea is near, and where the breeze is almost alway soft under bright sunlight, sometimes too bright sunlight. I live in a town that is barely noticed by the daily commuter, and I like it that way. My name doesn’t matter either because this blog is not just about me, but about the human experience as a whole. Whatever I might see, you might have seen, or might see in the future, and so we have something in common. I like watching you, learning from you, and wondering about the kind of life you might live. And, whether I like it or not, I spend a lot of time analyzing you, and above all, myself:
Who am I?–I’m a confused person. I’m not a nice person, and I am at the same time.
Why do I do this?–to be heard. To connect. But how? Isn’t that hard? Of course, it’s a game of chance.
What do I want to become, or, what am I becoming?--I want to be someone who is proud of herself. Who likes herself. I want to be a published novelist, poet, writer. I want to be someone helpful, of use, to those I care about. I want to be useful to myself.
What will all of you turn me into?–Realist? Skeptic? Cynic? Optimist? I don’t know the answer to that yet.
I know that this might be a bit strange, and even transcendental/philosophical in nature (though not as nicely extreme as Old Walt), but I mean it. Beyond me and you there is a whole, there is us. And through this blog, I want to connect with us.
What do you want to achieve?
Well, thanks for taking the time to read this. Please let me know what you think, and I look forward to reading your posts as well.